1. Date License was issued: 9/18/1997
2. 7/2/1998 Speeding (Melrose)
Very first time being pulled over. Unlike the rest of the world, I didn’t get a warning.
3. 1/5/2000 Illegal operation – (Wakefield)
Honking a horn (repeatedly) in front of someones house
4. 1/5/2000 No front license plate (Wakefield)
Its funny how you only get a ticket for this if the license plate you do have is red. I guess the
green ones shine through to the other side, so that a cop in front of you can still
see it.
5. 1/5/2000 No inspection sticker (Wakefield)
6. 3/13/2000 Speeding (Bellingham)
going down 495 in light traffic on the way back from Tealuxe. I wasnt driving to endanger, nor was weaving through traffic. I was in the left lane going a comfortable 70 or so.
7. 5/3/2000 Speeding (Salem)
8. 9/15/2000 No Seat Belt (Danvers)
this isn’t a surchargeable event, but it was still a ticket
9. 3/4/2001 Speeding (Reading)
I saw the speed trap, looked at my speedometer (in my blazer) the needle was on 35 implying I was going 35mph. The speed trap cop radioed ahead to another cop, who did an illegal uturn in the middle of the road in traffic (light) to pull me over even though I was going the speed limit. He then proceeded to yell at me (I had not said a word) saying “come on! tell me you where only going 35!” over and over again, actually egging me on.
10. 5/12/2001 Speeding, Expired inspection sticker (Melrose)
11. 5/16/2001 Surchargeable accident
the funny thing is, here it is 8 months later, and my hearing date has still not come up. I was driving in rush hour traffic on a rainy day on route 1. all the cars in front of me slammed on their brakes, I did the same, and slid into the bumper of the car in front of me. I bent the license plate on his car, and dented the hood on mine. Since the hood costed more that $500, it was considered a “Major Accident” leading to my insurance going up 3 points. Its funny how $500 is the limit on what is considered a minor or major accident, and my deductible is also $500. what a great state.
12. 5/30/2001 Suspension for 7 surchargeable events
13. 8/20/2001 Hearing for 5/12 ticket.
I won the speeding ticket part, so only had to pay the inspection sticker part.
14. 8/28/2001 Suspension ended, license reinstated
15. 9/18/2001 Suspension for 8 surchargeable events
this was due to the 8/20/2001 ruling.
16. 10/22/2001 Hearing for appealing last suspension
They felt bad for me since my license had just been suspended, and theticket that caused the new one was from before the first suspension.
17. 10/22/2001 Suspension ended, license reinstated

NWA, Rage Against the Machine, and Sepultura all had songs about them, and with good reason. The police just suck. They did nothing when I was mugged, even after I ID’d one of the bastards. Even after they were caught on video in Filenes. The police did nothing when Ashleys car was stolen. Even after her MOTHER found her stolen car, and even after the police let the 4 “suspects”, found with her posessions and ID’d on the video cameras at the location where her car was stolen from go. Still nothing happened. Essentially, the police are completely useless.

Unless it involves one thing….and that one thing is fucking with me.

Anyone that knows me knows of the massive amount of times I was pulled over. Not to say I am an innocent victim, but more to say: Are the punishments really worth the crime? if having dark windows really worth a license supsension? or a $200 ticket? Why should I pay higher insurance rates because my red license plate wasnt mounted on the front of my car, but the guy with the green license plate doesn’t need one on the front of his car?

Why am I complaining about this now (well, I have always complained about it). Because tonight, after 3 years of “good behavior” I once again got pulled over.

After a fun filled night of bowling with the boston.com bowling league, where mind you, I was on track to almost triple my previous best game (which is sad, because my score tonight was like 110). I drove two of my co-workers home. One was going to Somerville, and the other was going to Everett..both on the way to Saugus. So I am driving down Mass Ave, and I approach a light that had just turned yellow. I figured I could make it, and passed through the light just as it turned red, which is technically okay. But… the real problem was that for some stupid reason, literally 20 feet down the street was another set of lights, well actually, this was just one set of lights off on the corner of the road basically out of view. That one was already red…well before I passed through it. In fact, I didn’t even notice the light. So, to my suprise, I see the pleasant view of flashing lights in my rear view mirror, which is when you get that fun feeling in your stomache when you know the inevitable is about to happen. So I pull over, Sneak on my seatbelt, and wait for Mr. Happy Cop to come over and strike up a nice conversation.

The conversation goes as follows:
Cop: License and registration
(i give it to him)
Cop: do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No, I am not exactly sure
Cop: you ran through one of those red lights back there
Me: are you sure? I could have sworn it was yellow when I passed through it
Cop: well…your supposed to stop if the light is yellow too
Me: but I was already pretty close to the light, I didnt want to have to stop short
Cop: I have nothing better to do, even though cars are being stolen as I speak, and a guy is being stabbed down the street. I would much rather waste my time giving you a ticket.

so he walks away, and him and his partner “keeping up the rear” ready to shoot out the window hopped into their cruser, and gave each other hand jobs for about 15 minutes before they came back out. This time the other cop comes over to me, and says:

Cop: do you know your license plate is expired?
Me: it shouldn’t be, I renewed it online a couple weeks ago (which I did)
Cop: well, the computer says its expired, maybe you had some outstanding parking tickets
Me: No, I had one of those, and I paid it a week or so before I renewed the license
Cop: well, I suck, but I am going to “really be nice” and “do you a favor”. You have two options, you can back your car up into that spot next to the parking meter, and leave your car here until you get it fixed, or I can tow your car.
Me: But I dont understand why I should have to do this. I renewed the license.
Cop: well you will have to settle that at the RMV, and then the ticket can get erased.

So I back the car up into the spot, get out, kinda slam my door..at which point the cop says “Do you want to get anything else out of your car?” and I say “no, hopefully it just gets stolen” and I walk away while he says “okay”

So the 3 of us walk into the 7-11 close by, wait a couple minutes, come out, and I get back in my car and drive away.

Fuck them.

Oddly enough, I am not nearly as angry as I normally am about this kind of stuff. I guess that is the price you pay when your Triple C

As as side note, when I got home, I checked my bank account, and there was never a transaction by the RMV, so I will have to settle this tomorrow morning with those evil trolls that work at the Melrose RMV

I went to the RMV today to clear up my registration renewal, and after waiting for 5 or 10 minutes staring at all the special plates you can buy, I could only help but wonder why someone would pay $75 for a stupid license plate, or better yet, why I need to pay $20 to renew my registration. My car is still here. I didn’t move, nothing changed. Why do I need to pay again?

Anyway, the semi-bitchy lady at the counter tells me I cannot renew my registration because I have 2 unpaid parking tickets from the city of boston, and prints out the ticket numbers for me. So I get to work, look it up online (and give the “pay ticket online” form a middle finger) and call the customer service line, and talk to one of those human types.

The lady tells me I owe $126 from 2 parking tickets. One was apparantly from 2003. and if I pay it over the automated phone system, the RMV should know about it by 11:00. So…I reluctantly did that and now I get to go back to the RMV tomorrow morning (assuming I don’t get pulled over again) and pay the $20 those bastards want.

So thats the update…..

I have never been a Ford fan. I have also never been a foreign car fan. Although GM messed up royally discontinuing the firebird and the camaro, my allegiance has always been to them. So why do you ask did I buy a Lincoln LS? which, is actually built off of the Jaguar S-something (the S is for suck) platform.

I got it because I had a few simple demands when I was looking for a “reliable”,”new” car.

1. It had to be a V8. Why? I dont like cars with a smaller engine than that. I don’t like the high engine RPMs that lower displacement engines have to reach to produce power, and I just don’t like the feel.

2. It had to be rear wheel drive, because I hate front wheel drive, and don’t believe it is actually any safer. The police (and race car drivers) have been driving rear wheel drive cars for decades, and it is for a reason.

3. It had to be american. Yes, I know I technically bought a foreign car, but at the time I thought I found a loophole. I don’t like foreign cars, I dont like the way they drive, I dont like the way they feel, and I don’t buy into the whole “foreign cars last longer” mentality. Half the foreign cars you buy these days are made down the street from Ford or GM, same type of people working on them, same technology.

So what is all this about? It’s about me getting screwed over yet again.

My car is a 2000 Lincoln LS. Granted its not brand new, its pretty damn close compared to what I used to drive. I have had problems with the lug nuts on this car since I can remember. The first time I got a flat tire, I rounded off 1 lug nut, and snapped another one in half. Apparantly I am he-man. Push comes to shove, I had to get 2 wheel studs replaced, and pry off the rounded off lug nut with a chisel, locking pliers, and a crowbar.

This brings us to the winter of 2003. Come the first snow storm, my tires were getting stuck in everything, and my car was next to undrivable (no, it was not because of rear wheel drive). So, I did the right thing and bought 4 brand spanking new, top of the line, thoroughly reviewed snow tires, mounted and balanced on brand new rims. Why brand new rims? because its $96/tire for 16″ tires, but the 17″ version (which is the rims that came with my car) cost $240/tire. I bought them from tirerack.com, and since tirerack.com is awesome, they sent the tires to my house, all ready to go, complete with new lug nuts. Shiny…regular…new….lug nuts, unlike the butter ones that came with my car. So I took my old lug nuts and tossed them. I tossed them with extreme predjudice, and possible laughed maniacally as they dropped one by one into the trash barrel.

now we reach the summer. Apparantly my awesome snow tires have the opposite effect in the rain. I would fish tail and spin out constantly, and then one day, I lost control of the car going a SLOW SPEED, and NOT DRUNK (john…) and slammed into the guard rail on route 1. So it was time to put the original tires back on. Oh! but I threw out those lug nuts. Why don’t I just use the lug nuts currently on the car you ask? because the factory rims use “special” lug nuts. You can’t buy them aftermarket. Go ahead and look. Not online, not at Autozone, not anywhere.

I tried improvising, and found some lug nuts at autozone that looked pretty damn close, but they wernt close enough, and the lug nuts would either not clamp down enough, or would gradually loosen, both of which lead to unhappy things possibly happening while driving. I was waiting to be driving down the highway and watching my front tire go flying by.

The ONLY place you can get these magical lug nuts from (and they do look weird) is from the dealership. and Those communists at the lincoln dealership have the nerve to charge $8 per lug nut! thats $40 per tire!

There is no way in hell I am going to pay $160, plus whatever bullshit labor they charge, since my car is currently at the dealership getting the 20,000th squeak looked at, for stupud lug nuts. “Regular” lug nuts cost 50 cents at autozone. 50 cents!

I can get 4 brand new tires, mounted and balanced in place of the 4 snow tires I have, for $300.

I say screw jaguar, screw the UK, screw lincoln, and screw ford.

I can’t wait until I get a garage.