this has made me laugh for months..

Dont worry, he’s got our back….

I decided instead of getting a nice calculator watch, I instead would rather have precise time. Thats why I plan on getting this atomic watch:

I hope the watch comes with the sweet beard

According to this site: dnscoop.com

aisle10.net is worth almost$13,000. i’ll give whoever sees this a “deal” and sell it for only $10,000.

thats a savings of almost $3,000!!!!!!!

what a load of crap.

I am both saddened and dissapointed that I only scored 4 out of 10 on this test

In my defense, I havn’t seen at least 2 of the movies

Family’s Punching Bag Holds Smelly Surprise

Joe Heckel said he and his son were moving a TKO brand heavy punching bag from their garage to the basement when they decided to see what was inside in case the bag later leaked. But Heckel said that instead of sand or plastic pellets, he found the bag full of men’s and women’s underwear, some of it used.

UPDATE:

Here is a picture slideshow of the punching bag filled with used underwear

If I had a yard. I would have this standing guard:

this is great.

Stoned cop calls 911 fearing overdose on pot

You would think there is better things for the police to do….

Lucky and Flo sniff-out another $450k in pirated DVDs

Powered by ScribeFire.

Does anyone else think that baths are the grossest thing ever? I feel like it is one step above swimming in the toilet. (well a toilet with just water in it).

I just wanted to throw that out there. Baths really are just gross

I noticed a feature in Google Reader today that shows all my usage stats. This one line in particular is sort of scary:

” From your 166 subscriptions, over the last 30 days you read 12,459 items, starred 43 items, and shared 0 items.”

12,459 items? I wonder how many of those I clicked on “Mark all as read”. For my sanities sake I hope it was maybe 11,000 of those.

If you click on the image you can see what the top 20 feeds are that I read. If you care for some odd reason.

Sunday afternoon, I was outside for the 900th time trying to convince Charlie how much better it is to go to the bathroom outside, instead if under the dining room table. I was carrying a nice steaming bag of crap to the back of my house to throw it in the trash, and one of my neighbors was heading towards her car.

She says: "Getting ready to watch the game tonight?"

Me…being me..quickly think, game? what game is she talking about? I figured she must be referring to the patriots game that allegedly was on at some point in time. I actually thought the game was already over, since Aimee had mentioned something about it earlier…but anyway..

I say: "Haha…no not really…I am not much of a football fan.."

She say: "Well! you better not watch it then!"

what does that even mean? if she hadn't said that, would I have run in the house and forced myself to sit through the game?

I wonder if I can get my work to buy me this.. The ErgoPod

Die Hard 4

Rambo IV
Rocky 6

How great is that? They don't even look crapped up like all movies these days.  

What happens when you drive the speed limit? I have been saying this for years. (that no one goes the speed limit)

Your MP3 player, the next Tamagotchi?
This just brought to mind a bunch of egg shaped mp3 players that die if you don’t feed it enough music or play music on it often enough, or better yet, maybe the mp3 player would have a musical taste of its own, and die if you don’t play songs it likes

Leap.A – The first virus for Mac OS X

The first virus for Mac OS X has been found today. It is called OSX/Leap.A.

The malware was originally posted via link to MacRumors forum pretending to be screenshot for Mac OS X v10.5 Leopard.

Leap.A propagates through iChat and infects local applications using the companion method.

I am laughing.

Use Excel to Ensnare Your Customer Service Reps in Their Own Nefarious Web
This will definately help me with my ongoing quest to not get dicked over by the electric company, keyspan, sovereign bank, comcast, verizon and all the other bastards.

Prostitutes call for ban on GTA Sex workers cry foul, say game “accrues points to players for the depiction of rape and murder of prostitutes.”

I have nothing to say

Network security is the key to keeping VOIP secure

Isn’t that obvious? it is like saying that the key to private phone calls is making sure noone else picks up the extra line in the other room.

Whether you like the president or not, how can you argue with a statement like this:

Bush to GM, Ford: Make more appealing cars

This is great. I see this happening to me some day. Probably soon too.

Priceline Has Customer Arrested for Diligent Refund Attempt

AIDS Drug from Sunflowers Sunflowers can produce a substance which prevents the AIDS pathogen HIV from reproducing, at least in cell cultures. This is the result of research carried out by scientists at the University of Bonn in cooperation with the Caesar Research Centre. For several years now the hopes for a completely new group of AIDS drugs have been pinned to what is known as ‘DCQA‘. However, the substance is only available in very small quantities and is thus extremely expensive. By using the Bonn method it could probably be produced for a fraction of the costs.

this is one of the best stories ever. Since Wal-Mart is a family oriented store, they decided to have their web site direct buyers of of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” and “Planet of the Apes” DVDs to consider DVDs with African American themes.

I don’t get all the debate about this. Am I just paranoid, or hasn’t the NSA been spying on everyone for decades? don’t they have that building where they intercept cell phone/landline communications and red flag people when they say certain key words?

The Top 30 Facts about Vin Diesel This is amusing for some reason. No, I don’t like Vin Diesel. I only like Sylvester Stallone. I would never cheat on him

So is video taping your plane crashing all the rage these days? first it was jet blue, now Alaska Airlines has a cabin depressurization when a hole springs up, and one of the passengers took pictures and video with his phone. Apparantly people didn’t think he was a tough guy.

Like Pastor Roy said, how God is so much bigger and wiser than us, and trying to see what He’s thinking would be like an ant trying to see what I’m thinking. Like me with the anthill in my backyard. I spent days watching the ants, trying to figure out which ones were good, and which ones were bad, but they all just looked like ants, so I started smiting all of them. I was smiting them with the garden hose, and with lighter fluid, and with the lawnmower, and to be perfectly honest, I think I went a little crazy with the shovel. Those ants could have been praying to me all day, I wouldn’t have heard them. *ponders* There was nothing they could do about it.

- Dewey (Malcolm in the Middle)

Keep this with you always:
You are not your job.
You are not how much you have in the bank.
You are not the contents of your wallet.
You are not your fucking Khakis.
You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.
You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world

Not like I anything I say is usually right, but this article has a lot of weight-loss related myths, and why they arn’t true. You should take a look at it….now