Monthly Archives: December 2004 - Page 2

The world is all figured out

Now that I am finally back in the game so to speak with going to the gym and such, after I worked out I figured I would check my weight on the scale in the mens room. I ignored the 2 close to naked guys that were talking together really close, then scampering into the steam room together.

After basically not going to the gym for like 2 and 1/2 weeks. (I think I went 2-3 times tops) and drinking way more than I should, I managed to lose weight. How the hell does that happen? It must be all that typing I am doing.

Then, as I headed out all pissed off, a thought hit me. It’s because I am lazy. That’s the answer. Then I thought about it some more, and basically every problem or setback I have had in life is because of 1 of 2 things, and I do mean everything. You name it, and one way or the other it all comes down to either being lazy, scared, or both.

But you know what? thats the problem with the entire world. I read constantly how obesity is supposed to be an “epidemic”, especially in America, but really that is just a buzzword the media chose to grab peoples attention. When I think of epidemic, I think of things like the bubonic plague, HIV/AIDS…you know, things that are/were real big problems. But if you look at any of the problems that exist in the world today, its all because someone is lazy or scared.

are you obese? its because your lazy
hate the president? maybe more people should have voted (they are lazy)
why is there still voting problems, even after what happened in Florida? its because people are lazy.
why do laws get passed that really shouldnt? or worse, laws dont get passed because they should? people are scared to speak out (the patriot act for example)
why havn’t I moved out? I am lazy
why didn’t I save money? I am lazy
why am I still not where I want to “be” in life? I am lazy
Why havn’t I really started the small web hosting/design company I wanted to get going? I am lazy.
Why has my truck been in my driveway for 3 or 4 years? I am lazy

Come up with any problem in the world, or with yourself, and I bet the same applies. Either lazy or scared.
There are a million things that would go under the scared category for myself, I just don’t feel like telling you them.

Then I thought of an idea. I think I should start a company. It would be called:
“Lazy Fuck, Inc.”

Basically, you would contact Lazy Fuck, Inc., Fill out some paperwork, get all the legalities in order, and then you would be assigned your own personal “trainer”. He or she would follow you around everywhere, and yell and scream in your face every time you acted lazy, or wussed out at something in life. You feel like sleeping late? you get a punch in the face to wake up. You spend money stupidly? bam! not again. You deside to skip the gym? bam! now you can look at your black eye in the mirror.

You slack off in the gym, looks like you can’t go home now.
You would be required to fill out a form listing all your goals, and the “fun” starts then. In fact, if your trainer thought you slacked off on your goals, he would just rewrite them, and make you work harder.

Hell, this could even solve the unemployment problem. Lazy Fuck, Inc. would go find homeless people off the street, clean them up, put them in some housing development, and assign them to some lazy guy. Then they could just yell at people all day.


I don’t know about everyone else, but christmas is a big deal to me, not for any religous reasons, but more because of the traditions and lights and fun that surrounds the whole month of december.

In order to make the holiday complete…

a) The christmas tree
My family and I must go and chop down a christmas tree. I don’t think I could have christmas without that. Its really fun to go walking around through some tree farm with a sled and a hack saw, looking for that perfect tree, then cutting it down yourself and dragging out of the place on the sled to load up onto the truck. I like the pine tree smell inside the house too, and even decorating the tree is fun, despite the fact that my family and I have very differant views on how a christmas tree should look, I like the traditional look, everyone else likes the fancy look. Also, i’m against those damn fake trees, they shouldn’t exist (except for cases like John/Janelles apartment)

b) Presents
I like giving presents to people, and they arn’t supposed to know what they are getting. I hate it when i’ll get 1 idea from someone in my family, which basically means they know exactly what they are going to get. I also despise gift certificates. I hate them, and I think they are a cop out. I hate knowing what I am going to get, so instead, I make as big of a list as I possibly can, not because I expect to get anywhere near the whole list, but just so I don’t actually know what I am going to get.

c) Snow
there needs to be snow, and lots of it. I couldn’t imagine living in a hot state where it never snows, what is christmas without snow?

d) christmas lights.
I like all the houses all lit up, it just makes everything look so much happier, except when the bastards do it before thanksgiving, like the guy on the fellsway. Christmas is NOT until after thanksgiving.

smacked in the face with an old memory

The other day when I was looking at all the cold medicine at Stop and Shop, I heard something familiar being played on the PA system, and then I realized what it was.

When I was younger and was dragged from store to store, and errand to errand with my mother, she always thought it was fun to sing out loud, and not quietly either. She actually loved how much it bothered me. One thing she would often sing, especially if some new store was being built, or if some new development was bulldozing its way in, was this:

“They took away the trees….and they put in a parking lot!!!”

its definately an old song, and some lady was singing it when I heard it on the PA in Stop & Shop. I looked it up in google, and the Counting Crows kept coming up. Some song called “Taxi”

anyone know? One thing I do know is that I cringed when I heard it.

Cold Medicine

So, after falling asleep when I got home from work and wasting yet another day, I went on a quest to find the ultimate cold medicine, and no john, I didn’t buy the humidifier.

If this isn’t a great case of OCD, I don’t know what is. I looked at the ingredients in every cold product I could find, and found that all of them contained the same nasal decongestants.

Everything with the exception of Alka-Seltzers line of products contain:
Pseudoephedrine hydrochloride, some had Pseudoephedrine Sulfate, which apparantly is the same, except for it molecular weight (the sulfate version is heavier).
How Supplied: Pseudoephedrine hydrochloride: Liquid: 7.5 mg/0.8 mL, 30 mg/5 mL; Syrup: 15 mg/5 mL, 30 mg/5 mL; Tablet: 30 mg, 60 mg; Tablet, extended release: 120 mg, 240 mg. Pseudoephedrine sulfate: Tablet: 60 mg
What it does: Produces direct stimulation of both alpha-(pronounced) and beta-adrenergic receptors, as well as indirect stimulation through release of norepinephrine from storage sites. Results in decongestant effect on the nasal mucosa. Systemic administration eliminates possible damage to the nasal mucosa. Onset: 15-30 min. Time to peak effect: 30-60 min. Duration: 3-4 hr. Extended-release: duration, 8-12 hr. Urinary excretion slowed by alkalinization, causing reabsorption of drug.

Alka-Seltzer contained:
Phenylephrine hydrochloride (5mg)
How Supplied: Injection: 10 mg/mL; Liquid: 5 mg/5 mL; Nasal Solution: 0.125%, 0.25%, 0.5%, 1%; Ophthalmic Solution: 0.12%, 2.5%, 10%; Nasal Spray: 0.25%, 0.5%, 1%
What it does: Stimulates alpha-adrenergic receptors, producing pronounced vasoconstriction and hence an increase in both SBP and DBP; reflex bradycardia results from increased vagal activity. Also acts on alpha receptors producing vasoconstriction in the skin, mucous membranes, and the mucosa as well as mydriasis by contracting the dilator muscle of the pupil. Resembles epinephrine, but it has more prolonged action and few cardiac effects. IV: Onset, immediate; duration, 15-20 min. IM, SC: Onset, 10-15 min; duration: 0.5-2 hr for IM and 50-60 min for SC. Nasal decongestion (topical): Onset: 15-20 min; duration, 30 min-4 hr. Ophthalmic: Time to peak effect for mydriasis, 15-60 min for 2.5% solution and 10-90 min for 10% solution. Duration: 0.5-1.5 hr for 0.12%, 3 hr for 2.5%, and 5-7 hr with 10% (when used for mydriasis). Excreted in urine.

It’s kind of funny that you have all these choices of cold products, but they are all the same damn thing! I think the Alka-Seltzer stuff is junk, and instead I need to find myself the 60mg (or 240mg extended release) version of the Pseudoephedrine Hydrochloride.

After extensive research, these are the winners:
CVS Decongestant Antihistamine (generic version of sudafed) $3.99
SUDAFED 24 Hour Tablets (The extended release version with 240mg) $7,79

Oddly enough, the CVS brand comes with 24 pills, and the Sudafed extended release kind comes with 10 pills for twice the price. (16cents/pill versus 77 cents/pull) so really, taking the CVS brand twice every 12 hours is still a ton cheaper than taking 1 extended release 12 hour sudafed.

As Ash would put it, even though Acadia already quoted it once, I leave you with these parting words:
“Shop smart, Shop S-mart”