License to drive

Remember that movie License To Drive? according to, it was put out in 1988, but the jist of it was that some kid just turned 16 or whatever, and was FINALLY able to try to get his license. The second he could take the test, he did, and he failed. But he wanted to be able to drive so bad, especially to impress this chick named Mercedes, that he faked passing just so he could take her out, and so he could drive and being a normal functioning piece of society.

Aside from asking out that Mercedes chick, thats pretty much how things went for me. I turned 16, got my ass down to the RMV the second I could and got my learners permit, I sat through the horror fest that is Drivers Ed, had one to many car rides with Eric “the Human Diet Coke”, than the second I was eligible, I took my test. I wanted it so bad, I wasn’t happy with how long the wait was to take the test near saugus (like in Lynn where they pass you if you figure out how to start the car) so I ended up taking it in Chelsea. The cop was an ass and he made me do everything imaginable. I parallel parked too far away from the curb and he yelled at me and failed me. But what did I do? I called the RMV that date and rescheduled another appointment for the first opening they had….which was back in Chelsea.

I got my license and it was the best thing on earth. I can’t imagine being 23 and having never gotten it. The concept is just so far from my ability to comprehend.

So what is with the growing number of people who just decide not to get one? Don’t you ever say to yourself…man, it sure would be fun if I could leave my house….I really don’t feel like sitting next to Urine Man on the T again.

When I lost my license for 60 days. I wanted to shoot myself. It was torture. From waiting for the bus in the rain, to sitting next to some smelly person on the T. I couldn’t stand it.

So basically, what I am trying to say, is that if you dont have a license once you hit 17, you should be deported to Mexico. Then you can go ride a bike and deliver bananas to people.

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