just another manic monday (its tuesday though)

This is how today went. I woke up way to early, polished off a box of cereal, and went back to bed. Why? I don’t know, because I didnt wake up until about 10:30, thats right, an hour and a half after I was supposed to be at work. So, I rush and get ready, make my sandwich, down my protein drink, and rush out the door.

Today I decided to sport a hoodie, and decided to screw wearing a jacket. Rocky wouldn’t wear one I bet. So I get to my car, put the key in the ignition, turn it, and nothing…not even an attempt to start. This happened Monday as well. On monday I managed to drive my sisters car, covered in snow onto the street without being able to see anything out the window. I was proud of that.. I had to jump start it yesterday with her car, and again today, so I figured the battery was on its way out. But, being as late as I was, I figured I would deal with it later.

To top things off, I was also low on gas, so I go to the mobil station on Rt 1. I thought about leaving the car running while I pumped the gas, but the old ladies that run the joint are like the soup nazi on seinfeld, and yell at you over the PA if you do anything wrong, so I shut my car off.

It was a fatal mistake.

After I fill my tank, I go to start it, and sure enough, its completely dead the power locks didnt even work, So I figured I would wait for someone to pull up to the pump behind me, and I would ask them to jump my car. In the meantime, I emptied my trunk (except for my subwoofer) so that it would be easier to get at the battery, since “Lincoln” (really those assholes at Jaguar) decided to put the battery in the trunk under the mat. As I am clearing things out, some dude comes up to me and says “hey, do you have any jumper cables” I at first thought, oh he must have seen something was up, and he is going to help out. Then I thought about it for a second, and realized he was asking ME if I had jumper cables.

he needed a jump too! hahaha

So I laughed at him and said, yeah, I have jumper cables, but I actually need a jump right now too, so good luck. So we both wait in our cars for someone to pull up. He wins the bet, comes over and borrows my cables, gets his car jump started, then comes over to my car, and we jump start mine. Then I head over to Sears. I figured they could hook me up with a new battery quick.

Oh how wrong I was.

At this point, I know I can’t shut my car off or the battery will die, so I take my keyless entry thing off my keychain, lock the doors, and leave the car running while I go into the automotive shitfest at Sears. I go up to the counter and tell the moron I need a battery. He says “oh, just pull your car around back to the express battery lane, and someone will help you as soon as your turn comes up” So I (having already checked that lane out, because I am not a jackass, and saw like 5 cars waiting) asked how long the wait was. He said 30 minutes, the guy next to him said 2 hours, so he went with one hour.

Now I am thinking, what the hell, its a battery, I am not waiting in line for maybe an hour or so to get ripped off getting a battery, so I tell him, “what about if I just want to buy the battery?” he says fine, asks me what kind of car I drive, looks it up on the computer, and then says “oh sorry, we actually don’t have any batteries in stock for your car” what a shithead! he was going to make me wait an hour in line so I would find out there was no battery for me?

ahhhhhhhh!

So I left, and drive over to Autozone, meanwhile, I called NTB (the B stands for battery right?) after like 10 rings some kid picks up, I tell him I am looking for a battery for a 2000 Lincoln LS, he says okay, then instead of just looking it up on the computer 6 inches from his head, he says can I take down your name and number and call you back? it takes longer to write that down! So I say fine, and give him my info, then walk into Autozone

Autozone is packed, only 2 guys were working then, and every customer thought that they were the shit, and deserved special treatment.

Now the thing to keep in mind during this, is that any other time anything remotely like this happens to me, I go nuts, and my head almost explodes and I probably form 3 ulcers in my stomache, but today it was almost comical to me. I am waiting in line in autozone, and I just felt bad for the dudes behind the counter, and the customers were all dicks. One guy goes “what do I have to do to get service around here” and the guy behind the counter says, you can go to the register and pay, otherwise you have to wait “then the guy says, oh, I figured I had to do a little dance or something!” then laughs like he is a funny shit. I punched him in the kidney, and flying spin kicked him in the head while he was keeled over.

So, I get to the front, I tell the guy I need a battery, he gets me a battery, and I buy a $5 40 piece socket wrench set, and walk out the door. Meanwhile, NTB calls me back and leaves me a message saying they don’t have my battery. They are a tire and battery store!

So in the autozone parking lot, I rip out my battery (literally) because it was locked in using some metal screw thing that snapped in half due to my he-man like strength (or crappy aluminum) Then I go back inside with my crappy old batter to get my $8 core charge back.

Now I drive into work. The exit for my work was backed up a good half a mile. It took maybe 30-45 minutes to get out of the tunnel, and push comes to shove. I walked into work at 2:00
just to immediately leave to go to NESN (they are attached to fenway park) to look at the computer they use to put video onto boston.com.

Now its 6:00, and its time to have a lovely dinner with “fly boy” puccia, john, and janelle. I have to somehow go to the gym, or that dude is going to come and punch me in the face for slacking off.

However, for some reason, I am not at all angry. Maybe I should try to do that more often, just look at the funny side of everything. I mean come on, how often do you need a jump, and someone comes over asking you to give him a jump?

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