just fucked up

I wrote another typical long post, but my browser crashed and laughed as it wiped away everythign I wrote. So here is my second try….

Today while at work, Kim mentioned to me that someone from Pantera got shot and killed at some show (she must have remembered I like Pantera). It didn’t really sink in until I got home for the night and read about it. I am not one of those people that is going to cry in my room with the lights off all night, or go to Columbus, Ohio (where it happened) to take part in the candlelight vigil. You know why? I don’t know “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott. I love his music, I love his bands music, and I love his brothers (Vinnie Paul) drum work. But, I do not know them. And that is what I am really writing about today. What is it that brings people to that level? to the level that you feel that you are so emotionally attached to someone you have never even met, or maybe even seen in person until that day, to go walk into a small club in Columbus , Ohio, filled with 200 fans, all of which are having fun but you, because you are just sad, depressed, anger filled man, then get up on the stage, pull out your semiautomatic baretta, yell at the guitarist for “breaking up Pantera” and open fire on him (Dimebag Darrel), shooting him multiple times until he died right there on the stage, then, still not happy, turn and open fire on random people in the crowd, then take a hostage, and probably would have killed more if some cop that had been down the street hadn’t rushed in and picked off the asshole with a shotgun.

Why does this bother me so much? because I just don’t understand what goes on in the heads of people like that. Like this guy for example, or the dude that killed John Lennon because of the “Voices in his head” or little Timmy McVeigh, who was upset about his taxes so he decided to blow the whole building up (I think that was the reason).

Anyone that knows me knows that I get angry at the most mundane of things, but the thing is. I just get angry. I bitch about it for a little while, then someone tells me to shutup and thats it. I have actually only been in two real fights in my life. Once in the 4th grade against Darren LaSota (obviously I won that one), and once with Eric Michaels/Oxley.

Then this whole thing got me thinking about how a couple months ago, the son of a long time best friend of my mother was at a party (he lives in wakefield, but i dont think the party was there) and some kid there got all pissed off that some other kid was talking to his girlfriend, so a little fight broke out, the pissed of kid left, then came back later with some friends (because noone can stick up for themself anymore) and started swinging at random people with a baseball bat. People not even involved in his stupid little fight. Then my mothers friends son, doing nothing wrong at all, got nailed right in the face, and got his face bashed in pretty good. He was in the hospital for weeks, and had to get reconstructive surgery to fix his face. All for some stupid reason. What is wrong with people?

Although I would happily be the first to say I don’t like MTV, they had a nice little section devoted to Dimebag Darrell (unlike boston.com, which put an AP story on the front page for a little while, then replaced it with a bunch of sports stories like they always do). They had a lot of quotes from various other people that knew him personally. The whole metal scene is extremely small in the whole scheme of the music world, and most of them are friends with each other, and usually hold each other in high regard. Also, for those that stayed true to themself and their sound, and didn’t go the way of Metallica, they all play at small clubs, and and tour constantly, because the music is their life, not their next appearance on TRL (which they wouldn’t be allowed on anyway). My point is that everyone that had a word to say about Dimebag, from Anthrax (whom I own every CD of), to Ozzy (I have some of his stuff) to Chimaira (I hear them often on XM), to even Korn (the OLD Korn was influenced very much by Pantera). These were all bands I liked, or do like. with the exception of Korn, they all place at cheap small clubs, and the shows are extremely close and personal due to the fact that its such a small crowd (200-500 i think is the average). Its not very hard to basically high five someone on stage if you wanted to.

Had that show been in boston, I could have very easily have been there. I could have been the 1 innocent person in the crowd that was killed, or I could have been one of the 2 other people in the crowd that was injured. Or even worse, what if I convinced one of my friends to go? and they got killed? all because some loser was upset that he can’t buy another Pantera CD because the band broke up.

Everyone knows that at some point or another, shows and bands come to end. You can either stretch every penny, song, or episode as you can out of it (like Metallica is doing) or you can close the book, and say hey, this was a great ride, but its done. and Let it die on a good note. Thats what Pantera did, and I have nothing but respect for the doing that. What is even the though process behind this guy? “Hmmm…Dimebag left Pantera, now Pantera doesn’t exist. I should kill him…..yeah, that will fix everything”

What I wonder is this, how many Pantera songs, or any music for that matter, does he get to listen to from 6 feet in the ground? Maybe the maggots play stuff. I hope he enjoys them.

The last thing I have to say, is how odd it is how well this coincides with Johns post from yesterday, because the water really must have washed over that club.

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