The Good Smaritan

I was getting my hair cut today at great cuts, you know the place that secretly went from $9.99/cut to $12.99.

This guy comes in with his little kid, probably like 10 years old, and he looks all distraught and obviously not happy, and says “is there a payphone around here I could use?” the bitch hair dresser type that was cutting my hair says no. Now that brings a couple things to mind.

1) Isn’t she curious what the deal is with this frantic guy?
2) Who uses pay phones any more?
3) she couldn’t just say “No, but you can use the phone 5 feet from my lazy head”?

Since I have the easiest hair cut on the planet, I am in and out of that place in like 10 minutes, and that is including the time it takes to punch my “10th hair cut free” card. Just so you know, my next hair cut is #10! woohoo! free hair cut. So I go outside, and I see that the guy and his kid are in the next parking lot over, and the guy is bent over doing completely wrong things to the battery area of his sweet sweet station wagon. For some reason, my little heart grew like in the grinch who stole christmas, only instead of giving all the presents back to the wumples, or whatever they were called, I figured I would give him a hand. So i tell him I would come around, and try to give him a jump.

The best part about giving people a jump with my car is that the battery is in the trunk, so, whenever I help someone, they give me this look like I am a shithead or something, so, after I explain that, then he says that the jumper cables wont reach. I think at the point I knocked him out so that he could relax for a couple minutes. I have 20ft long cables. Its allllllll covered. His battery of course was really gone. So, I tell him, I have nowhere important to be, if he wants to charge it for a while, I dont mind waiting, at which point he asks me where am I going, so at this point I am thinking, man, it would be pretty awesome if this guy was a serial killer or something. For all I know that kid he is with is kidnapped, so I decide to play it out, You know the old saying “Dont dis it until you try it”. For all I know hanging out with a serial killer could be fun. So I tell him that ironically enough, I was going to autozone, but he needed to go to the one on rt 16, so I let him use my cell phone, he calls his wife, and she was going to meet us at Mr. Tux, which is right off of rt 1, so it isnt that far out of the way. So him and his “son” hop into the car, and away we go.

We get to Mr. Tux, his wife is waiting, and she also looks real happy. Then he yells to his wife, hey get out some money, and i am thinking oh sweet, I get paid? I did the whole no grandma, I dont want any christmas money routine, but he didn’t buy it and I made off like a bandit with $10 in cold hard cash 2 abe lincolns actually.

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